Part 3: Post-surgery day 1

Dateline: Sunday, July 21, through Tuesday, July 23.

I am truly blessed to have such a fantastic partner in Brandi.  As a nurse, she is able to take extraordinary care of me. And that started with Sunday night, the night before surgery. She was able to walk me through, again, what would happen the day of.  It was very reassuring and helped with my extreme anxiety that evening, as did the Xanax :).

I'm not sure what I was most worried about: never waking up again, or being dissatisfied upon waking.  I've never had general anesthesia before and I was very worried about how that would go. Turns out it wasn't so bad.  I also had some fear that I'd feel regret.  But at the same time I knew that I was absolutely doing the right thing for me and for the rest of my life.  I've been waiting for this for so long. Wanting it and waiting for it and finally that thing I thought might never be possible was about to come true.  Truly frightening and exciting at the same time.

We woke up at 4:30 a.m. to get ready for our 5:45 arrival at the University of Minnesota Medical Center - Fairview on the East Bank of the University. Somehow we got out of the house by about 5:05 a.m. and were at the hospital by 5:20, which turned out to be pretty fortunate because we were second in line, and followed by at least three other groups of people.  Check in went smoothly and then we headed up to the surgical floor, which is under construction, and so the waiting lounge is quite far away from the pre-surgical area. That being said, the newly constructed areas are really nice.

The only time I wasn't called Jake was with the woman at the registration desk, and at first in the waiting room area. But that woman actually came back to apologize and was really sweet about it and let us know that she'd make sure that every one else knew that I prefer Jake, and it ended up on the cover of my chart in big letters and everyone else got it right 100% of the time.

We didn't wait very long before they took me back (by myself) to the pre-surgical area and they took my vitals and got me gowned and ready to go.  Not long after Brandi was able to come back and she was with me through the placement of the IV and the visit by Buckley - who gave me a fist bump on her way out; she's so adorable - who marked me up and talked through the procedure.  Then it was off to surgery. Buckley said that she had the room booked to 12:15, so I was to be in there between 7:45 and 12:15, approximately, depending upon how it went.

Turns out Buckley was in the waiting area talking to my partner by 12:20. And apparently she was thrilled with the results.  I haven't seen them yet :)

I remember getting on the table, and talking to the staff and having the oxygen mask put on, and then I remember waking up.  It was amazing. I woke up feeling like I had had duct tape placed on my skin and then ripped off.  The pain wasn't too bad but it was definitely in the 7-8 range at first, in the PACU. After a little fentanyl and dilaudid, I was feeling much better and then they took me up to the recovery area, where I did not feel well at all for a long time. We were there until about 4:30 because I was very sick to my stomach.  We almost had to stay the night, but we asked if we could get some anti-emetic to take home and head home that day. Buckley okayed that and so we were off after a quick stop at the pharmacy for the anti-emetic.

Getting home was great. It was so nice to be home by dinner time and on my own couch in my own home with my own personal nurse.  Dinner didn't sit well with me, so there was some more upset stomach, but after that I felt much better.

The situation with my chest is drains on each side plus an ON-Q pump that delivers a longer-acting lidocaine-like medication to the incisions to keep them from hurting too much.  All that is under kerlix gauze wrapped with a big ace wrap.  My nipples and scars feel kind of burn-y but not all the time. The pain meds are helping a lot. Last night (Monday night) I didn't need as much as I thought I would, so that was cool.

Buckley was amazing.  She told Brandi that she was super satisfied with the results and that the incisions go back pretty far to minimize dog ears, which makes me happy. She's so laid back and super confident at the same time which had a real calming effect on me.  Although I haven't seen what's under the wrapping yet, I'm really excited about it.

Words can't express how fantastic it feels to look down and see flat chest, knowing that there are pecs under there that I can continue to build up and create that awesome male contoured chest I've always wanted. I feel like I've taking the body that betrayed me so long ago and "fixed" it so that I can now look in the mirror and see me.  Here's the draw back - I'm definitely overweight, and while it is something I'm actively working on, I now look down at my stomach and it looks disproportionately large to me.  I can also see that my shape is shifting at the same time, so more weight will be carried there. I just need to make sure I don't gain too much weight while I can't exercise, so that I can start building those abs and shrinking that stomach.

Monday night was odd, sleep-wise, but I've been sleeping on and off all day today, and I'm feeling pretty good, but a bit sore and generally tired.

I think that's about all I've got for today.