I have a problem, and it isn't my addiction to dark roast coffee in the mornings.
I can't figure out how to tell the folks at Starbucks (who greet me by my birth name every morning, without fail) my new name. I don't think I need to tell them my new gender identity - that'll get figured out eventually - but I do need to get them to start calling me Jake.
I had a go of it yesterday - after my name change hearing I went in to get a coffee and breakfast and when asked my name for the breakfast item's bag, I said, "Jake." So he put "Jake" on the bag. No problem. But this guy was new.
So when the old (as in long-time employee) guy, one of my longest-serving baristas, picked it up to deliver it to me, he said, "Jake! Is there a Jake in the house?" So I headed over to pick it up and said, "That's me!" and he said, "Oh, okay, "K___." Epic fail on my part.
I have no idea how to approach this. I know I should say something simple like, "It is Jake now." But they address me first, so I have a difficult time "correcting" them. I know I need to advocate for myself. And I really doubt that Starbucks is going to stop serving me for some irrational reason. But there's something about putting it out there in person that's difficult for me.
Hell, my gold Starbucks card even says "Jake" on it. So what is my problem?
Friday, August 30, 2013
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Name change hearing and birthday!
Today I turn 37. Who knew, when I was 27 and doing this the first time 'round, that I'd actually arrive at this day, a decade later? Who knew, when I was 19 and figuring this stuff out for the first time ever, that this day would come?
I am so grateful to have arrived at this day today. I could not have done it without the amazing support of Brandi and all my wonderful friends, family, co-workers and medical professionals.
Today I got my name officially changed at the Ramsey County Courthouse with Brandi and one of my oldest friends, CJ, by my side, along with CJ's wife. It was smooth as silk, with no trouble and all orders being signed as I requested. I had to verify that I wasn't avoiding any debts and they had to verify that I have not been convicted of any crimes, and then the witnesses vouched for me, and she signed the forms and sent us on our way.
I have to still go pick up some copies - they're not ready right away - but I'm official!
Now I can start changing my name with social security, on my driver's license, my birth certificate, etc. I have in my hot little hands a letter from my surgeon indicating that I've undergone gender reassignment surgery and that she is of the opinion that I am male. I will send that off with my name change order and some forms to the Vital Records folks for the town I was born in in CT, and I will apply for a new DL and request a variance for gender change, along with that documentation, and I will head on down to the Social Security Administration to change that as well. I am so thrilled and excited I can barely contain myself.
What a great birthday!
I am so grateful to have arrived at this day today. I could not have done it without the amazing support of Brandi and all my wonderful friends, family, co-workers and medical professionals.
Today I got my name officially changed at the Ramsey County Courthouse with Brandi and one of my oldest friends, CJ, by my side, along with CJ's wife. It was smooth as silk, with no trouble and all orders being signed as I requested. I had to verify that I wasn't avoiding any debts and they had to verify that I have not been convicted of any crimes, and then the witnesses vouched for me, and she signed the forms and sent us on our way.
I have to still go pick up some copies - they're not ready right away - but I'm official!
Now I can start changing my name with social security, on my driver's license, my birth certificate, etc. I have in my hot little hands a letter from my surgeon indicating that I've undergone gender reassignment surgery and that she is of the opinion that I am male. I will send that off with my name change order and some forms to the Vital Records folks for the town I was born in in CT, and I will apply for a new DL and request a variance for gender change, along with that documentation, and I will head on down to the Social Security Administration to change that as well. I am so thrilled and excited I can barely contain myself.
What a great birthday!
Friday, August 9, 2013
Name change hearing date set
Just wandered over to the Ramsey County courthouse across the street to apply for my name change and get my hearing date set.
The woman who took my application and paperwork was incredibly nice and helpful. It was very easy and I got no trouble from anyone.
The date is set for my birthday, which is really exciting for me. That's what I've wanted all along and it worked out perfectly because all name-change hearings are held on Wednesdays only and my birthday falls on a Wednesday!
I included in the order a request for all documents to be changed to reflect my new gender as well. That paired with the letters that should be arriving from Dr. Buckley's office this week should suffice for the CT vital records people for my birth certificate to be changed.
Hooray!
The woman who took my application and paperwork was incredibly nice and helpful. It was very easy and I got no trouble from anyone.
The date is set for my birthday, which is really exciting for me. That's what I've wanted all along and it worked out perfectly because all name-change hearings are held on Wednesdays only and my birthday falls on a Wednesday!
I included in the order a request for all documents to be changed to reflect my new gender as well. That paired with the letters that should be arriving from Dr. Buckley's office this week should suffice for the CT vital records people for my birth certificate to be changed.
Hooray!
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Part 3: Two-week check up/two-weeks post op
Visited with Dr. Buckley late yesterday to address the slight puffiness on the left hand side and to pick up some more dressings.
After a quick poke at me, she determined that dressings were not needed any more and that the puffiness will likely go away on its own. It still might not, but there's nothing she can do about it. That's okay. I'll just work out so that both sides match!
It is super interesting/strange/funny/weird to not have dressings on anymore. My shirt is actually touching my skin all over. Haven't felt that feeling since before I had to wear a bra. So strange and so cool at the same time. I'm feeling a little sore, but nothing that a little ibuprofen can't take care of.
All part of the healing process, right?
Buckley was super pleased with my progress over the last week and is really happy with the result, as am I. The adhesive over the incisions is finally starting to flake off, and everything is looking pink and healthy. Couldn't have asked for a better turn out, really. So grateful that we have someone like Buckley in town willing to work with insurance. Also grateful that insurance is taking such good care of me. She wants to see me again in about three months for final photos and a final check up. Very exciting.
Two more weeks before I can hit the pool or start lifting weights again. It is very hard for me to keep being inactive in the upper body, but I'm getting used to it. At the gym I've been using the recumbent exercise bike and that seems to work well.
After a quick poke at me, she determined that dressings were not needed any more and that the puffiness will likely go away on its own. It still might not, but there's nothing she can do about it. That's okay. I'll just work out so that both sides match!
It is super interesting/strange/funny/weird to not have dressings on anymore. My shirt is actually touching my skin all over. Haven't felt that feeling since before I had to wear a bra. So strange and so cool at the same time. I'm feeling a little sore, but nothing that a little ibuprofen can't take care of.
All part of the healing process, right?
Buckley was super pleased with my progress over the last week and is really happy with the result, as am I. The adhesive over the incisions is finally starting to flake off, and everything is looking pink and healthy. Couldn't have asked for a better turn out, really. So grateful that we have someone like Buckley in town willing to work with insurance. Also grateful that insurance is taking such good care of me. She wants to see me again in about three months for final photos and a final check up. Very exciting.
Two more weeks before I can hit the pool or start lifting weights again. It is very hard for me to keep being inactive in the upper body, but I'm getting used to it. At the gym I've been using the recumbent exercise bike and that seems to work well.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
New url
I had to eliminate the original URL for this blog because it pointed to my old email address.
New URL is missiontoman2.blogspot.com.
Please redirect accordingly.
New URL is missiontoman2.blogspot.com.
Please redirect accordingly.
Monday, August 5, 2013
Part 3: My wonderful workplace
Upon arriving at work this morning at 7 a.m., I was met by a lovely surprise! Several of them in fact.
My co-workers left me a welcome back tie with rubber duckies on it and note pads with my name on them! There was even an extra little gift from one of our interns featuring a tiny MN license plate with "Jake" on it. I was overwhelmed with the thoughtfulness of my coworkers and overjoyed, once again, to be a part of such a great organization with such great people in it.
To top off the great support from my colleagues, my login and email and everything were also all changed over when I booted up the computer this morning. And, just a few moments ago, the head of admin for the department dropped off my new badges with the right name on them as well.
What a red-letter day! I am so thrilled to be back and work and getting lots of work done and being among such supportive co-workers. I am a very grateful person today. Thank you, universe!
My co-workers left me a welcome back tie with rubber duckies on it and note pads with my name on them! There was even an extra little gift from one of our interns featuring a tiny MN license plate with "Jake" on it. I was overwhelmed with the thoughtfulness of my coworkers and overjoyed, once again, to be a part of such a great organization with such great people in it.
To top off the great support from my colleagues, my login and email and everything were also all changed over when I booted up the computer this morning. And, just a few moments ago, the head of admin for the department dropped off my new badges with the right name on them as well.
What a red-letter day! I am so thrilled to be back and work and getting lots of work done and being among such supportive co-workers. I am a very grateful person today. Thank you, universe!
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