My therapist and I wrote it "together" last night at our last (hopefully) pre-T session. He addressed it to both Buckley and Thorp so I'm hoping that will suffice for both of those ladies as well as the insurance moguls.
I am partly scared to death and partly so excited I could wet myself. This has been such a long time coming. I wanted to do this 17 years ago but had no role models and no real, honest-to-goodness knowledge that it was possible. Then I wanted to do it 10 years ago but wasn't able to follow through because keeping my family in my life was so important to me. Fortunately, however, I don't have to worry about them anymore. I know they love me and will love me no matter what. So nothing can stop me now.
So why am I so scared? Well, it comes down to this - I don't know exactly how transition will go and there are so many variables and unknowns that it make it very hard to plan for it. And I'm a planner, for goodness sakes!
I have what I think of as irrational fears about silly things like the bus, and the coffee shop and the gym and other places where I frequent and am seen as a regular. Fortunately that's pretty much the bus, the gym and the coffee shop :). My therapist did remind me yesterday that most people are too wrapped up in themselves to think about the others on the bus or at the gym or in the coffee shop.
I still also have to come out at work. And on Facebook. And figure out the logistics of changing my name and gender on all of my documents. And coming up with the money to do that, which I'm not actually too worried about.
But, I have my letter. It is up to me to do with it as I see fit, I guess. I do have my surgery consult with Buckley on 5/14 and the "T" consult with Thorp on 5/21 so things are moving along at a fair clip!
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